Saints Row V (Not real of course)

New Business:
Phone Call:
Luz: I'm so glad you're here now. Los Carnales are making it difficult for me to get my new business off the ground.

Boss: Well, if you're willing to help me, then I'll help you with your business.

Luz: Great. Come to my house and help me load the Truck.

Boss: I'll be there soon.

- Go to the Mission Location

The Boss and Luz are loading boxes into the Mule.

Boss: These aren't that heavy. What are selling?

Luz: Shoes.

Boss: What? I thought you hated selling shoes.

Luz: No. That was the version of me who ended up being betrayed by Manuel. This time it was Angelo who betrayed me... For some ponygirl who works for Leather & Lace.

Boss: Yeah, Steelport has stuff Stilwater would never even think of.

Luz: So since everyone always critises me for my shoes being out of date. I figured I'd open my own shoe store and finally be the one to set the trends.

Boss: Not exactly what I'd call a big goal, but why would the Carnales wanna stop you from being an independent business owner?

Luz: Because he thinks my store is just going to be a front for selling drugs to steal his business.

Boss: Well... This is a lot of boxes... I'm sure you could spare some stock.

Luz: What do you have planned?

Boss: Oh, you'll see.

Luz is driving the Mule, while the Boss is stood in the back with the door open, wielding a box of shoes.

Boss: Ooh, stilettos... Those will do nicely.

Luz: Here they come!

- Throw boxes at the Carnales vehicles to bust their tires

(Repeatable dialogue after a successful hit)
Boss: See guys! It's just shoes!

Boss: There goes another one!

Boss: They didn't see that one coming!

Boss: This one's on the house!

Boss: Was that my ears!?... Oh, it was just their tires!

Boss: I hope I gave you the right size!

Luz: You should have left me alone!

Luz: Send the bill to Angelo!

Luz: You shouldn't have messed with my business!

Luz: This time, it's personal... But also business... I guess it's both.

Fade out, then fade in with the Mule parked, and Luz unloading the boxes into the Warehouse with the aid of 2 Saints.

Luz: You keep Los Carnales off my back.

Boss: You got it.

- Defend Luz until the truck is unloaded

Luz closes the shutter door of the Warehouse.

Luz: That is all for today. Thanks for the help.

Boss: Any time. If you don't mind me asking... Why did Angelo dump you for the ponygirl?

Luz: Because unlike me, the ponygirl keeps her mouth shut and doesn't question him.

Boss: Well, I'm sure the ball gag has a little something to do with that.

Luz: True.

Boss: (Mocking) You know, if you really want him back, you could just go to Leather & Lace and buy yourself a ball gag? They only cost like 10 bucks.

Luz just glares at the Boss.

Boss: Guess I hit a nerve?

Mission Complete:

Sales Assistant:
Phone Call:
Luz: I'm ready to meet with my first set of customers. As my sales assistant, I'll need you to cover me from above. I've set up the attack chopper for you. See you soon.

- Go to the Heli Assault Location

The Boss is in a Tornado in the air, looking down over Luz in her Eiswolf.

Luz: I'm heading to the first customer. Please don't blow me up.

Boss: Hey, I know how to work this thing.

- Defend Luz while she drives to the first Location

Luz: Ok, don't let Los Carnales ruin the deal.

- Defend the Transaction

Luz: Ok, next customer.

- Defend Luz while she drives to the next Location

Boss: You're not selling shoes at a gas station?

Luz: It's been a while since I filled the car, ok?

- Defend the Transaction

Boss: You good now?

Luz: Sí.

- Defend Luz while she drives to the Last Location

Luz: Last stop.

Boss: Good, I'm getting vertigo up here.

Luz: Haven't you been up in space for several months?

- Defend the Transaction

Luz: You make an excellent sales assistant.

Boss: Does that mean I get a raise?

Luz: Don't push your luck.

Activity Complete:

Health Violations:
Phone Call:

Luz: I think I'm ready to send Angelo a real message.

Boss: What did you have in mind?

Luz: We take out his drug plant down the street.

Boss: That would definitely get his attention.

Luz: This is one health inspection he will not pass.

- Go to the Mission Location

The Boss and Luz sneak up to the main building.

Boss: Where's the door?

Luz: I don't see a door.

Boss: Then how did you expect to get in?

Luz: I was caught up in the moment.

Boss: Ugh, great. I guess we go in fighting then.

The Boss immediately shoots a few Carnales members in the head, alerting the rest.

- Find the entrance

Boss: Next time you want to take down an operation, make sure you have a plan first.

Luz: Is this really the best time to be lecturing me about how to plot revenge?

Boss: What, you'd prefer we sat down in a coffee shop and discussed it?

- Enter the plant

LC: It's the Saints!

Boss: No, it's the health department, and we've come to shut you down!

- Kill the Carnales

- Find and burn down all LC Product

The Boss and Luz find themselves a little high after inhaling the fumes.

Luz: We've got to get out of here before we choke to death.

Boss: Damn, is this what it's like to be Shaundi?

Luz: fucking lightweights.

Luz drags the Boss along as she shoots through a window and jumps out onto a catwalk.

Luz: Come on! We can regroup at Rim Jobs.

Boss: Ok, but you have to buy me dinner first.

Luz: Just shut up.

- Follow Luz to Rim Jobs and don't get caught by the Carnales

They burst into Rim Jobs and the Boss collapses on the floor.

Luz: Hey Tim.

Tim: Did I miss the party?

Luz: Yes, and the Carnales won't be bothering you anymore.

Tim: Much appreciated... What's up with them?

Boss: Do the lights usually spin like that?

Luz: Too much, too fast.

Tim: Fuckin' lightweights.

Luz: Tell me about it.

Cut to the Lopez Mansion where Angelo and Hector are meeting with Victor and a few other LCs.

Hector: So the whole place was burned down?

Angelo: That fucking bitch!

Hector: If you had any self control, that "fucking bitch" would still be on our side. And her new business would be money in our bank.

Angelo: Well we're still pulling in good money from Leather & Lace.

Hector: Which is deep in Samedi territory. So keeping it from getting raided is using more resources than would be necessary for someone who lives in our territory. Stop thinking with your dick, and remember why we're here.

Angelo: You actually care about what that alien wants.

Hector: Of course not. But we both want the Saints dead, and once they're taken care of, Steelport is ours for the taking.

Angelo: you know he'll betray us once the Saints are dead.

Hector: He can try, but we'll be ready.

Mission Complete:

Homie - Luz
Homie Luz Outfit - Los Carnales
New Districts - The Grove, Yearwood, New Baranec, Port Pryor, Bridgeport
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Jail Break:
Phone Call:
Gat: Hey, Boss. Had a little trouble with the local law enforcement again.

Boss: (Sigh) I'll be right there.

Gat: Thanks, Boss.

- Go to the Gat Escort Location

- Wait for Gat to climb onto the roof of the vehicle

Gat: Step on it!

- Drive around and don't let Gat take too much damage from the pursuing Police.

Gat: Looks like the Rollerz didn't like my gift.

- Destroy the Rollerz Pursuit

- Drive around and don't let Gat take too much damage from the pursuing Police.

Gat: Hey, that guy's a mechanic for the Rollerz!

- Stop the vehicle so Gat can shoot the Target

- Drive around and don't let Gat take too much damage from the pursuing Police.

Gat: Look, the Rollerz are having a street race!

- Cause 1000 points of damage to the Brotherhood Convoy

- Drive around and don't let Gat take too much damage from the pursuing Police.

Gat: Hey, we could lose the cops with a little air time.

- Get 2 Seconds of air time

Gat: (Laughing) Better luck next time!

Activity Complete:
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Rollerz #1:
Phone Call:
Price: Don't ask questions, just listen. I already know I've got this race in the bag, but there's still one Roller who stands a chance against me. But if you Jack his car, I'll have no competition. You'll find his car parked outside the hotel near the Steelport Arena.

- Go to the Vehicle Location

- Steal the Rollerz Attrazione

- Drive it to Rim Jobs

Vehicle Theft Complete:

Eviction Notice:
Phone Call:
Donnie: Looks like the Rollerz moved into this apartment complex.

Boss: We can't have that.

Donnie: Should I call anyone else to help us evict them?

Boss: Tell Kinzie to meet us there. She does need to stretch her legs... And get some fresh air.

Donnie: Sure.

- Go to the Mission Location

The Boss meets up with Donnie and Kinzie outside the first apartment building.

Kinzie: You had to drag me out here, didn't you?

Boss: Oh, come on. It'll be fun.

Kinzie: That's what you said about storming the bridge.

Donnie: Let's face it. Kinzie's more of an "indoor" genius.

Kinzie: What's that supposed to mean?

Donnie: You don't like getting your hands dirty. But don't worry, this genius can get the job done.

Kinzie: Don't think I don't know what reverse phycology is... But I'm still gonna prove you wrong anyway.

Kinzie storms into the first building.

Boss: Way to attack her ego.

The Boss fistbumps Donnie.

This mission takes place inside and on top of the 4 apartment buildings, but is a specific mission only map.

- Find the Rollerz apartment on the ground floor

- Enter the apartment and kill the Rollerz

Donnie: Damn, these guys are bringing back a lot of memories.

Boss: I know it can be hard to see your friends from a different perspective, but...

Donnie: Friends? They were assholes. I'm only now starting to realise that I should have joined the Saints while I had the chance.

Boss: It's never too late to join the Saints.

Kinzie: If you two are finished having emotions, we've got more apartments to find.

- Go to the 3rd floor and kill any Rollerz in your way

- Enter the apartment and kill the Rollerz

Boss: So after the Brotherhood, when you moved to Steelport. Why didn't you join the Syndicate?

Donnie: I was done with gangs. I wanted to try being an independent mechanic. But Rim Jobs already had the whole city locked down. Every time I tried opening up a new shop, they'd send their biker gang to burn it down. And before I knew it, I was back in the game. I got a crew together and tried to take on Rim Jobs.

Boss: How did that go?

Donnie: Not well. But I didanage to keep a garage open in Loren Square for a while.

Boss: Damn. If I'd known about it, I would have looked you up.

Kinzie: Are you two on a date or something? I thought we were evicting the Rollerz?

- Go to the rooftop

Donnie: They've got helicopters!?

Boss: Who doesn't these days.

- Take out the Rollerz Helis

- Walk across the catwalk to the next rooftop

Donnie: Alright down one floor this time.

- Go down 1 floor

- Enter the apartment and kill the Rollerz

Boss: Kinzie, you still good?

Kinzie: A few new wounds, but I'll fix that with more cybernetic enhancements.

Donnie: Who are you, the new terminator?

- Go down to the 2nd floor

- Enter the apartment and kill the Rollerz

Boss: Alright, we go out through the main entrance. Just don't stop or we're toast.

- Go down to the ground floor

Boss: Ready?... Ok, now!

- Run out the door and straight into the next apartment building

- Go to the first floor

- Enter the apartment and kill the Rollerz

Kinzie: This is more fun than I expected.

Boss: You should join me more often.

Kinzie: We'll see.

Donnie: Geez, now it sounds like you two are on a date.

- Go to the 5th floor

- Enter the apartment and kill the Rollerz

- Go to the rooftop

Donnie: Ok, I think that's all of them, now we just... Oh fuck.

A Rollerz Tornado hovers over them.

Boss: Ok, now they mean business.

- Destroy the Rollerz Tornado

The Tornado spins out of control and explodes in front of Rim Jobs. Kinzie assesses her wounds.

Kinzie: I think I'll head back to my Warehouse now.

Boss: Good call.

Cut to Sharp and Price in the Rollerz Garage.

Price: Those fuckers wanna fight. I'll give 'em a real fight.

Sharp: Let me worry about the Saints, you just focus on your race.

Price: No, I've had enough. I'm handling this, myself.

Price storms off.

Sharp: Then I guess there's only one thing for me to do.

Mission Complete:
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The Big Race:
Phone Call:
Lin: You won't just be able to charge your way into this race, they've doubled security. So go to the warehouse near the old Steelport Electrical Company.

Boss: Why, what's there?

Lin: Bobby is working on some upgrades to his car before the race begins. Go there, take him out, then take his place in the race.

Boss: Is his car fast enough to keep up with Price?

Lin: It's a standard Zimos with some basic tuning. But if you fit it with nitros, and armor plating, you'll be like a mobile battering ram.

Boss: Sounds good. See you in the race.

Lin: Yeah, through my rear view mirror.

Boss: Oh, you are so going down.

- Go to the Mission Location

- Go to the back of the Warehouse

Bobby: Hey, what the...?

- Kill Bobby

- Take the Zimos to Rim Jobs

- Fit the Zimos with Nitros and upgrade the damage resistance

All the Rollerz line up for the big race, with Price's Attrazione in 1st place, Lin's Voxel in 3rd place, and Bobby's Zimos in 6th place. The sidewalks are packed with Rollerz watching the race. Libby walks out in front of the Racers.

Libby: Hopefully we don't get any surprise guests this time.

Boss: You have no idea.

Libby: 3... 2... 1... Go!

- Blend into the race

Lin (Phone): Ok, the audience is outta sight. I'll keep Price distracted up ahead while you take out the other racers.

- Ram the other Rollerz off the road

Lin (Phone): Looks like one of the Rollerz called for backup before you took them out.

Boss: Thanks for the heads up.

- Take out the Reinforcements

Boss: I hope you're ready.

Lin (Phone): I got him all lined up for ya.

- Catch up with Price

Lin: He's all yours!

Lin falls back.

- Ram Price off the road

Price's Attrazione serves off the road and crashes into a tree.

The Boss and Lin both stop their vehicles and run over to the car.

An injured Sharp stumbles out of the Attrazione leaving the Boss and Lin confused.

Boss: The fuck are you doing here?!

Lin: Where's Price?!

Sharp: I knew it. You seemed too eager to help us.

Lin: (intimidating) Where is Price?

Sharp draws a gun and shoots Lin in the stomach before collapsing himself.

Boss: Lin!

The Boss shoots Sharp in the head just to be sure, then helps Lin get back to her Voxel. Cut to Libby who viewed the whole ordeal from behind a nearby fence. Then cut to Price in his garage working on his project vehicle to destroy the Saints.

Price: Where's my uncle? He was supposed to be back with my parts?

WR: Didn't you hear? He took your place in the big race.

Price: Oh, did he at least win?

The WR switches the TV to Channel 6. Jane in at the site of Sharp's death.

Jane: It appears the Saints objection to the street racing Rollerz has no limits. Looks like any oversea connections the Rollerz had... Are sinking fast. This has been Jane Valderamma, Channel 6 News.

Price: Call a meeting. We need to find out how the Saints got into the race.

Mission Complete:
Homie - Lin
Homie Lin Outfit - Westside Rollerz
Vehicle - Price's Attrazione
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Go For The Head:
Phone Call:
Carlos: Hey, Boss... You got any work for me?

Boss: I'm not dealing with the Brotherhood right now, so you can just relax.

Carlos: Oh, come on. You've got Johnny and Pierce dealing with multiple gangs. I wanna do more to help out.

Boss: Well, Luz and I have another Carnales Plant to shut down... I guess you could tag along.

Carlos: Great. You won't regret it.

Boss: I hope I don't.

- Go to the Mission Location

In the driveway of the Lopez Mansion, Hector is speaking with Angelo, as Hector gets into an LC Status Quo.

Angelo: Where are you going?

Hector: The Saints already took down one of our plants... I will not let them do it again.

Angelo: I'm sure the Carnales stationed there can...

Hector: This is not up for discussion. If I don't come back... Send Victor to finish off the Saints.

Angelo: Why not send him now?

Hector: Because something is telling me I have to do this.

Angelo: I hope you know what you're doing.

Hector: Just be ready with the crew.

The Limo drives off with Hector in the back, while Angelo watches worryingly.

The Boss is in an Oppressor with a Sniper Rifle. Shaundi is piloting. They are patrolling the LC Plant while Luz, Carlos, and some Saints try to infiltrate it on foot.

Luz: Just keep us covered and be ready for an extraction.

Shaundi: You can count on us.

Boss: Just try not to get high off the fumes Shaundi.

Shaundi: It would help keep me relaxed.

Boss: We need to be focused, not relaxed.

Shaundi: I can do both.

Carlos: Alright, we're ready to move.

- Defend the Saints as they advance through the Factory Yard & Parking Lot

Luz: Ok, we're heading into the plant.

Boss: We'll keep the Carnales from getting too close.

- Defend the south entrance from Los Carnales

Fire and smoke burst through the windows in one corner of the plant.

Luz: One down.

- Defend the west entrance from Los Carnales

Fire and smoke burst through the windows in another corner of the plant.

Carlos: We're heading upstairs now.

- Defend the north entrance from Los Carnales

Fire and smoke burst through the windows of the top two floors.

Luz and Carlos make it to the rooftop, but Hector shows up in his limo to see the whole plant in flames.

Hector: Fucking Saints!

Hector fires a rocket at the rooftop, it doesn't hit Luz or Carlos, but some debris knocks Carlos unconscious.

Luz: We need an evac now!

- Kill Hector before he blows up the Helicopter

Shaundi lands the chopper on the rooftop. The Boss and Luz help Carlos into the co-pilot seat, then the two of them get in the back with some rocket launchers.

- Defend the helicopter until Shaundi makes it back to Kinzie's Warehouse

Carlos regains consciousness mid way through the flight.

Carlos: What happened?

Luz: You got knocked out.

Boss: Are you hurt?

Carlos: Not really. There's no blood or anything.

Shaundi: He looks fine to me.

Carlos: Fucking hell, Shaundi. You're eyes are bloodshot.

Shaundi: Shut up.

Boss: Great, our pilot's high. We're all gonna die.

Shaundi: Just chill. I got this.

Shaundi lands the helicopter with a thud and a slide in front of the Garage Door at Kinzie's Warehouse. The propellers also get snapped off when clipping the walls.

Shaundi: Told you I got this.

Luz: Next time, Pierce is the pilot.

Kinzie opens the door.

Kinzie: Could you keep it down out here? Some of us have work to do.

Mission Complete:

Vehicle - Hector's Status Quo
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Customer Satisfaction:
Phone Call:
Luz: You ready to help me sell more shoes?

Boss: Yeah, but after that last run with Shaundi, I'm not sure I'm up for flying again any time soon.

Luz: Well, you join me in my car?

Boss: Hmmm. A nice comfy Eiswolf...

Luz: With seat warmers.

Boss: I call shotgun.

Luz: See you soon.

- Go to the Sellout Location

- Protect Luz as she drives to the first meeting location

Boss: (Content chuckle)

Luz: What's so funny?

Boss: Nothing. It's just that I used to ride shotgun for you back in my original timeline.

Luz: Same gig?

Boss: Not quite. You did work at a shoe store... But it was a front for the Columbian Cartel.

Luz: Oh... Glad I got a second chance then. I can't believe Manuel would have used me as his mule if I had gone with him.

Boss: Yeah, you really don't have good taste in men... Or shoes for that matter.

Luz: Did you mock the original me like this too?

Boss: Yeah... Good times.

- Protect Luz while she meets with the Business Owner

- Protect Luz as she drives to the next meeting location

- Protect Luz while she meets with the Business Owner

- Protect Luz as she drives to the next meeting location

- Protect Luz while she meets with the Business Owner

- Protect Luz as she drives to the next meeting location

- Protect Luz while she meets with the Business Owner

- Protect Luz as she drives to the drop off location

Sellout Complete:

Hourly Cash Income Increased
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