I created these a few years ago, and have only just remembered about them on my old phone. I thought they were good back then... But I'm unsure now... What do you think?
Lin vs Shaundi:
Round 1:
Lin:
Well, where to start with this smoked up hippie?
She's probably so damn high, that she can't even hit me.
I've seen a lot of dealers in Stilwater alone.
So when you're finished scorin' off 'em could you pick up the phone?
I got kidnapped by a smart rich guy.
Where as your kidnapper was probably high.
I know all my lines are based off one act.
But you're a one-trick-pony... And that's a fact.
So get a new hobbie coz this bit's gettin' old.
I could diss your style, but from me... That'd be bold.
Let's get this over 'fore your burger gets cold.
'course if you're not ready for this, you could always just fold.
Shaundi:
So am I supposed to cry from that rant of jealousy?
Coz I can sense it a mile away... Honestly.
What did you think you could gain from this?
While you're all pissed, I live in bliss.
So don't try to diss, coz I never miss.
Now I think I'll just go and give Donnie a kiss.
Ooh I'm sorry, did that one hurt?
In case you didn't know, I'm a professional flirt.
That's right, I'm not just a one-trick-pony.
I guess your intel was a load of baloney.
Here's a spoiler from your future that you may wanna save.
After this battle, you'll return to your watery grave.
Round 2:
Lin:
Ha, real funny makin' fun of the dead.
But my zombified corpse can still rip off your head!
So I don't expect you to comprehend.
Just what awaits you around the bend.
It's not a warning or even a sign.
That I've won this battle before the last line.
I would diss your looks and character design.
But we all know they're loosely based on mine!
So go back to Stilwater University.
And just work on getting a single degree.
Then maybe you'll be ready to come back and fight me.
Now I'll give you some time to recover... From this fatality!
Shaundi:
Geez, when was the last time you got laid?
And no, I don't count it if you got paid.
I didn't know that the Rollerz pimped h0s.
Stop showin' off your t*ts... If that's what you call those.
Don't look now, but Sharp's right behind you!
Is he gonna kill you, or just bind you?
You could be is playgirl... Or his hood ornament.
Or he could drop you in a lake with shoes made of cement.
As you can see, I'm clearly superior.
So just let Sharp "unwrap" you, and expose your interior.
It'll just further prove that you're vastly inferior.
And unlike you, my motives aren't ulterior.
Bonus Round:
Kinzie:
I hate to interrupt this whirlwind of activity.
But I thought by now you'd both have the same epiphany.
You're both outdated sl*tty Stilwater girls.
I'm a kinky librarian, just give my "teacups" a whirl.
I'll hack into your intel and feed you false data.
I'll be upgrading to next gen, while I revert you to beta.
I can track your every move from my inner sanctum.
I made a list of your skills, sorted and ranked 'em.
It didn't take long, as you're both pretty easy.
Oh great, now my rhymes are startin' to get cheesy.
For my final line, I think I'll turn up the heat.
Coz I've won this battle and left your asses beat.
Who won?
Next up is Troy vs Carlos... But first I need sleep, it's 3 in the morning.
Lin vs Shaundi:
Round 1:
Lin:
Well, where to start with this smoked up hippie?
She's probably so damn high, that she can't even hit me.
I've seen a lot of dealers in Stilwater alone.
So when you're finished scorin' off 'em could you pick up the phone?
I got kidnapped by a smart rich guy.
Where as your kidnapper was probably high.
I know all my lines are based off one act.
But you're a one-trick-pony... And that's a fact.
So get a new hobbie coz this bit's gettin' old.
I could diss your style, but from me... That'd be bold.
Let's get this over 'fore your burger gets cold.
'course if you're not ready for this, you could always just fold.
Shaundi:
So am I supposed to cry from that rant of jealousy?
Coz I can sense it a mile away... Honestly.
What did you think you could gain from this?
While you're all pissed, I live in bliss.
So don't try to diss, coz I never miss.
Now I think I'll just go and give Donnie a kiss.
Ooh I'm sorry, did that one hurt?
In case you didn't know, I'm a professional flirt.
That's right, I'm not just a one-trick-pony.
I guess your intel was a load of baloney.
Here's a spoiler from your future that you may wanna save.
After this battle, you'll return to your watery grave.
Round 2:
Lin:
Ha, real funny makin' fun of the dead.
But my zombified corpse can still rip off your head!
So I don't expect you to comprehend.
Just what awaits you around the bend.
It's not a warning or even a sign.
That I've won this battle before the last line.
I would diss your looks and character design.
But we all know they're loosely based on mine!
So go back to Stilwater University.
And just work on getting a single degree.
Then maybe you'll be ready to come back and fight me.
Now I'll give you some time to recover... From this fatality!
Shaundi:
Geez, when was the last time you got laid?
And no, I don't count it if you got paid.
I didn't know that the Rollerz pimped h0s.
Stop showin' off your t*ts... If that's what you call those.
Don't look now, but Sharp's right behind you!
Is he gonna kill you, or just bind you?
You could be is playgirl... Or his hood ornament.
Or he could drop you in a lake with shoes made of cement.
As you can see, I'm clearly superior.
So just let Sharp "unwrap" you, and expose your interior.
It'll just further prove that you're vastly inferior.
And unlike you, my motives aren't ulterior.
Bonus Round:
Kinzie:
I hate to interrupt this whirlwind of activity.
But I thought by now you'd both have the same epiphany.
You're both outdated sl*tty Stilwater girls.
I'm a kinky librarian, just give my "teacups" a whirl.
I'll hack into your intel and feed you false data.
I'll be upgrading to next gen, while I revert you to beta.
I can track your every move from my inner sanctum.
I made a list of your skills, sorted and ranked 'em.
It didn't take long, as you're both pretty easy.
Oh great, now my rhymes are startin' to get cheesy.
For my final line, I think I'll turn up the heat.
Coz I've won this battle and left your asses beat.
Who won?
Next up is Troy vs Carlos... But first I need sleep, it's 3 in the morning.